heading off course

Except for the necklace this is the exact items I am wearing today. Click to visit stores. I will NOT make any money from your clicks. Nothing. 

I wanted to try something new with my makeup and I got this plummy brown lipstick this weekend. I always avoid anything like this like the plague but I saw this photo fell in love. 

We aren't very alike looking but I do have very light eyes and soft brown hair and fairer complexion so I thought it might look nice on me. It is absolutely totally different for me but hell now is the time to experiment. I mean I don't have the sartorial choices I had before. I can't color my hair so why not mix up the makeup routine?

Dave liked it. That was all that mattered. He doesn't decide what I wear but he has great taste and he will let me know if it doesn't work on me. 

\

Not sure why you'd want to but you can click to enlarge.

Before someone says it because I know at least one person will see it. yup I totally have a migraine. My friend tells me its always in my eyes. My hair looks dark here but it is a lot lighter than I thought it would be since I have been growing it out this past year.

I had a horrible migraine yesterday so there was a lot of this going on. 

Lot of Dr. Who episodes too. When my cousin Zach was born oh 20 years ago? We went to visit him and my aunt had made these cookies I call inside out cookies. They are chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips. Inside out just seems to fit. Anyways I literally have not had HER version of that cookie since. But I always think about it as the best cookie I ever had. Yesterday I texted my aunt Sam and she sent me the recipe and Dave made me a batch! Husband of the year he is. We learned why they are the "BEST COOKIE EVER" Dave has renamed them "carrier vessels to get butter into my mouth" cookies. The key was all the butter apparently Thanks Auntie Sam! You couldn't even tell our version was GF they were so amazing. Sam was always a good cookie maker. I always liked when she was a teenager and would come over to our house for dinner and make cookies and let me brush her long hair. (Think Marcia Brady)



I haven't seen her in a couple years but I hope to fix that in a couple weeks. The sudden death in my family 2 weeks ago made me so scared all those relatives that I madly love but don't see for years at a time. Sam is one of them.

Do me a favor today and text, email or call that one extended family member you love dearly and just let them know that you do. I can't ever call Brandon again and I think about that every single day these past 3 weeks. You might remember me talking about him on here before. He was the one who got the purple heart last year. (disqus ate the comments on that post and it infuriates me. They are there but they say I wrote them but on disqus they are still there FINE)

He was my only cousin on my dad's side. 25 is way too young to be gone. He survived literally being bombed over there at war only to die 2 miles from home. Gram is heart broken. That is why I have been so sporadic the past few weeks. Gram ended up in the hospital the day it happened and they think she had a TIA(?) stroke.One of the worst days of my life. I get the call about Brandon and we are literally in the car at the time with my mom and we drive up to see everyone and the house is empty they rushed gram to the hospital!  She's fine, thank god, but we literally spent the past three weekends
at the hospital, at a 3 day funeral, at a wedding. I'm exhausted. I was so emotionally dead for an entire week. Not crying, not anything but angry until the damn bag piper at the funeral. I try to stay so strong all the time. Never crying (through entire pregnancy even). Never losing my composure like I used to do so easily. But I'm human. I hurt. I need to learn to let myself hurt cause I seriously think that might explain the daily headaches the past month. I thought I might lose it when I found out Westboro Baptist Church had a website up asking people to picket the funeral. THANK GOD there are so many amazing Bikey and Legionaries who came out and lined all the streets of the funeral home. They had never met him but they knew he was the amazing man he was. My baby cousin, the hero.

Yeah hadn't planned on this post going that way AT ALL. It was just gonna be about the clothes, I've been keeping it all in and away from the public but sometimes the words come out on their own in their own odd fashion. So go make that phone call, text or email OK? Hey even let me know who it is and why you adore them.