Insert witty title here.
Marc Jacobs Dress (2008)
Hoodie Target in LA (I never saw it in mine! It is nice a long 2008)
Boots Clarks 2008
I felt too posed smiley in this one so I added another for a more "accurate" me. I am not big smiley person.
It's been a month. A very fast month. I was texting with my dad last night and he said "she did well with the 1 month anniversary" I hadn't even noticed. It still feels like days. I was really having an inner dialog about should I just stop blogging about him because it obviously annoys some people as they completely stopped visiting. Then I thought you know what? This is me. This is what I am thinking about. This is byhillary not hillary's parade of only happy stuff. It always was intended to be a lifestyle blog. I'm real. I talked about him a lot before he died because he was such a large part of my life so why should I stop when he is dead? If it makes people uncomfortable that is their issue and not mine.
This is the outfit I was wearing the last time I saw him. The day before he died. He said I looked nice and I told him how it was a $400 dress I got for 80% off in Las Vegas and he was so proud.
This was what I looked like when I bought it.
You think I am a deal hunter?! Not compared to him! The outfit has been sitting in a pile for a month. I was scared I would never want to wear it again. But you know I am oddly stronger than I ever thought I'd be (Not to be mistaken for doing well. I am a fucking mess honetly but I thought I'd be a comatose mess) . I wonder if it had anything to do with I feel like I had a real goodbye? Because the rest of my family is always crying and I felt like a jackass that I haven't been. Maybe it is because I am more like him then the rest of my family. Or maybe it is coming and one day I'll just loose my marbles in line for coffee? I dunno. I never lost someone close to me.
What are your plans for the weekend?
I am not sure if we are going to Gram's house or not. I have been out of state the past 5 weekends. I am really really tired. But I don't want her to be alone. I REALLY want to bring Waffle but that wouldn't end well. I can just see my Gram flipping out now. "SHES ON MY DRAPES! SHES HANGING FROM MY CANOPY! SHE JUST TOOK MY GLASSES OFF MY FACE!" haa I love that little magnificent bastard.
PS Let me just answer the question that keeps coming up. No I have not lost any weight. None. Not an ounce.
Me again. Lets play a game to make today fun.
Two Truths and a Lie
*I worked in the Amex Centurion (black) card call center.
*I was once promoted because my boss loved my voice.
*I painted houses one summer.
Comments
I will be working on revisions most of this weekend. Boring but necessary. My hubs and I do have a date night planned tomorrow night, though.
It's your blog, darling, and you should blog about whatever you want. Life isn't always a smooth ride, and you don't stop loving someone just because they're gone.
My Gramps got really sick my freshman year of college. We found out it was liver cancer that spread to many places, and he eventually passed a few weeks later. He had a lot of good stories, and I sorely miss him. I still cry when I think about him. I wish I would have had a chance to REALLY say good bye ... it was rough having it happen with me away from home.
Mine was unexpected he wasn't sick. which is why my family is having such a hard time but I somehow knew. When I hugged him the day before I knew in my head. Not saying I am psychic but something told me it was the last time. That happened to my mom before too actually.
My witty title: "Hoodie Hillary"
i should shut up now.
hmmm... i say the lie is the painting?
Andy and I are having a homework date (how super lame does that sound?) and then I want to see Kick-Ass. I also have my first wedding dress fitting, but it involves some kind of tape on bra which I'm not really thrilled about.
I'm guessing the lie is about being promoted because of your voice, even though I thought you had a lovely voice in the video I feel like I'd heard something either in a post/comments to the contrary.
I think it's funny you wanted to include a non-smiley picture because that's the opposite of how I feel - I think I'm pretty smiley in general so whenever I put in a blog picture where I'm not smiling, I try to include one where I am smiling even if I look stupid because the serious pictures don't feel like "me."
FWIW I've lost people close to me pretty often. I have a huge, close family so it's hard to avoid. One year when I was in college I lost my grandpa and two family friends (who honestly might as well have been my grandparents for how close we were) within a year. I usually have one big cry then that's it (whether it was a sudden accident or long illness). That's not to say I'm not still broken up after that one cry but...I don't know. It just doesn't usually come again after that. It's almost like every day is one long dull pain instead of moments of sharp pain that would make me cry - does that make sense? In fact I think I cry about it more often now, years later, because the pain comes suddenly and unexpectedly.
Also on a totally unrelated subject - I don't really know what I'm doing this weekend. I have a bridal shower to go to but other than that we don't have any solid plans. I wanted to go to the zoo but it's supposed to rain all weekend long.
I have noticed no real difference in your blog. You write about your life. It happens.
My daughters birthday party is this weekend. Tomorrow my house will be overrun with 10 and 11 year old girls, "Twilight", Jonas Brothers, and make overs. Eep.
Take the car to the SHOP AGAIN, I am sick and tired of it, it seems like my car will never be fully operational.
I also have to take the dogs to the vet, clean the house (no cleaning lady for the past two weeks), do laundry, cook.
2 Truths one lie:
You did not paint during the summer...
Tonight I'm giving Nic and ride to BART so she can go to the Giants game, then I'm going to go home and have some me time. This usually involves frozen pizza and ODing on wedding shows. Saturday we're heading up to the town where we're hoping to have our wedding and just checking it out by ourselves (we brought some fam the first time). Saturday night might involve some fun drinky type plans, and Sunday might just have to be laundry day.
I would guess you didn't paint houses one Summer because you spelled out Centurion in the first option and the second would be a pretty elaborate fib.
thanks so much everyone. We are staying home. She called me at WORK today which she has never done. I think my dad got to her.
"hillreee I'm FINE stay home!"
So the correct answer or THE LIE
"I was promoted because a boss loved my voice."
I was infact DEMOTED from receptionist to file monkey because the lawyer that owned the law firm hated my voice and didn't want me to be the first thing customers heard. ASSHOLE. I can't believe my boss told me instead of just kindly moving me. I was new I could of moved without issue but no SHE HAD TO CUT A DAMN article out of a magazine on how to change my voice. BITCH PLEASE.
Dave and I did paint houses and I did work for Amex!
It's been 14 years since I lost my dad and still there are days where I cannot bear to see another father-daughter commercial. Where I cry while I cut back my rosebushes because it reminds me of him. When I talk to him like he's still alive. But those days aren't as many now as they used to be, and the hurt lessens more quickly.
Your body will do what it has to do to get you through it. Crying is only what some people do to grieve.
And I am glad that you are wearing your beautiful MJ dress again. The one I long for with my whole heart and pretend is mine. :)
I will say I started reading your blog because it is about a wide variety of things. I love that it is real!
And I think you have a nice voice-screw your old boss!
AND I love reading your blog - I can't believe anyone would stop reading because of your granddad!! Your blog is one of my favourite - you're funny and witty, you have great outfits and nails and you're not like everyone else out there - neither is your blog x
keep it up xx
(sara)
Thanks for your kind comments on my blog - I am feeling a bit better but not 100% .. I have to go see a neurologist now to find out why it happened :(
And as others have said - it's your blog and how you feel so write what you wanna write :) I for one love reading all about different people and there lives )maybe im just super nsy) and would never stop reading a blog becase of it!
Sal xXx