Toe in the water.

I don't know that I am ready. I honestly haven't had the breakdown yet. But I thrive on schedules and routines and I am hoping it will help my head. Pop would want me to do what I love too. I had just told him I had been writing articles.
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I bought this shirt from the Liberty of London line from Target after Ally showed it to me.
Denim trousers Gap
Suede flats LL Bean Read more about them here
Sweater Ann Taylor
Tank H&M
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brown suede flats llbean
I bought these shoes at LL Bean the day before Pop died. We stopped at his house on the way home from the store. I didn't know then it would be the last time. He would of liked these shoes. He appreciated good shoes.

Sitting at work now is the first time I have been without family in a week. It is weird. I see people's true colors today though.

And in another effort to be normal.

How was your weekend? Do anything fun? Have any good meals?
Well we had the funeral and it was really beautiful. Seeing over a hundred people cry for my Pop was just. I don't even know how to put words to it. The man in the Navy uniform playing Taps was one of the most beautiful things you'd ever see. We brought my mom to the airport on Saturday and Saturday night my inlaws came into Boston and took me and Dave out to eat and gave us bags of groceries which was nice we didn't have any food in the house. Yesterday dave made Monte Cristos. It was one of the first meals I had really eaten in a week and it tasted so wonderful . My mom met Waffle for the first time too. She already called to say she missed her. My friend Caroline was a saint and came and took care of the girls while we were gone.

Comments

Dave77459 said…
I think schedules lend a sense of needed normalcy. You'll process the emotions at your own pace. My own dad is aging rapidly, and I know the time is near, so your writing really foreshadows those emotions.

My thoughts are with you.

My weekend was nice. Met with folks Saturday to do motorcycle maintenance, then went out searching for wild flowers yesterday.
treesaw said…
For me, the saving grace in these situations is really getting to see how much people cared for your loved one. Hang in there friend.

My weekend was pretty low key. I have a friend who is going through a really tough time too so I spent a lot of time with her this weekend. I made her one of her favourites for dinner on Friday: huevos rancheros. It was delish, if I do say so myself!
La Loca said…
Welcome back. Gorgeous job styling that shirt.
Jess said…
I am so very sorry for your loss, Hillary. Your Pop seemed like an amazing guy and it was obvious from the start how much you love him. I was wondering what had caused the radio silence, but I didn't want to pry. <3

I had the first good weekend in a long time. I was super social and saw friends Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Today also marks my first full gluten-free week and I feel amazing, I cannot believe the difference it has made.
hillary said…
There is a blog post and facebook post that explain it all if you are interested.
Jess said…
Yeah, I was behind on my blog reading this last week...I usually clean out my Google Reader every day but this morning there is an alarming number of unread items. I just saw the one explaining everything. Your obit for your Pop was beautifully written.
Kelly said…
Glad to see you back - I know it is hard to do "normal" things in times like these but I do think it helps! I really like the print on your blouse.

This weekend was good. Went to a birthday party at an ice rink, saw some movies, saw a play. I had a *delicious* salmon wrap at a new restaurant in Cincinnati. It was a little expensive but I cannot wait to go back.
Ally said…
That top is SO much cuter on you than it is on me. I still haven't cut off the tags, so I may take it back. I just can't decide how I'll wear it other than under a cardi.

I worked both days this weekend, but still managed to have good food. I made some homemade buttercream frosting Friday (my day off) and had to hide it in the fridge to keep myself from eating it all.
bethtrue said…
Thinking of you - sounds like the funeral was just lovely. Glad you got some good food yesterday too - Monte Cristos are good. You look great in this outfit. Hang in there. We had a good weekend; beautiful weather here in Sunny Southern California.
mamichan said…
monte cristos, yummy!
had a playdate with some girlfriends and their daughters and we made pizza afterwards at my house on saturday. yesterday i did nothing, watched netflix live streaming through my wii and played mario.
Marie said…
Welcome back- and hugs.
I bought that Liberty dress and love the print, it looks fabulous with the brown cardi so thanks for the outfit help.
I had a weekend with family and too much good Mexican food so I am hitting the gym this week *I hope.

Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge
Unknown said…
Welcome back! Sure did miss you around here.

I am so sorry about your loss. It will take time to come back to something close to normal. Even though my grandma passed almost 8 years ago, there are still days where I miss her terribly. I am so glad that you got to see him one last time before it happened.

That shirt is so gosh darn cute!

We ate at Olive Garden yesterday and that was about the extent of good food for me!
Suzi Q said…
Sweet Baby girl~ Each day the heavy heart you have will lighten. Time will heal and you'll be more accepting of that Pop is never really gone ~ you need only look up~ left ~right ~ he is and always will be with you.
On a light note~ I went to Gainesville this morning as Den forgot his cell phone ~ He was working in the next plaza from Target. I stopped in and that top your wearing was sold out. I walked to the back of the store to check the shoes out. One of the employees was wheeling out new stock~ I gave her a look and she asked ~ are you looking for something? Yes I want a Liberty of London top my daughter has. Luck was with me and she had one ~ Just one and my size. I will think of you when I wear it~ Makes me smile. Love you doll face ~ OX Mom
Nana Erin said…
Much love.

I'm glad to see you back and my heart aches for you.
Kimberly said…
Its good to see you, pretty lady. I love that shirt paired with the cardigan.

I lost my grandma over 4 years ago and still "talk" to her almost daily. She was a huge part of my life growing up and continues to be. I see things that remind me of her while shopping and it still brings tears to my eyes because I miss her so much. However, I still feel a tremendous amount of closeness to her and strive to keep her part of my life. I hope you find the same with your Pop. ((Hugs))
Lisa said…
Welcome back. I'm so sorry about all you had to go through, but it sounds like you are really fortunate to have great people in your life.

On another note - you look amazing! It's good to wear something bright on such a yucky day.

My weekend - showing friends who are moving down around Boston. Now I'm playing catch up on all my homework though.
hillary said…
dave77459 whenever dave gets off schedule he gets sick. If that isn't a case for them...

treesaw I have never had that before!

jane w thanks

jess that's great. My husband his sister and parents both felt the same way. week one and they knew that was it. But the key is to NEVER cheat. Dave hasn't in 6.5 years, not once. and he is healthier than he ever has been and finally can gain weight after years of being malnurished.

kelly I am striving to do those normal things. I know if I stop for a little bit I will stop all together.

ally thank you. I liked it enough on you to want it myself!

bethtrue I am so jealous of your sun. SOjealous

masami They are SO delicious. I hadn't had one in like 8 years and my inalwas brought a new type of GF bread and randomly I thought MONTE CRISTOS! God they are delicious.

Marie there was a dress in this print? I want that too! This print is just so happy inducing. I got my mom the wallet in a different print but same colors and I wanted to steal it back from her.

d'rae I haven't been to the olive garden in 8 years and I dream about it. We don't have many chains in the city. My mother in law made their zuppa toscana for the party after our wedding and for all anniversaries since. I love that soup SO MUCH. It is the potato sausage one.

Mumsy. Take a picture. Did they have any of the other stuff we'd like? I have the wallet and that box I showed you and dave got me a tiny note card set. They are like 3 by 3? I don't want to send emily her dress. Can you believe I didn't go to her party and went to NH instead can you imagine how mad I would of been if I went??

Work with what you got. thank you hun.

Kimberly You can't know how much reading all that means to me. These feelings are foreign to me and I feel a bit crazy at moments. I've lost uncles and aunts but this isn't the same.

lisa Dave is playing that game. The write a 10 page paper in a day game. He didn't do any homework for the entire week and now is rushing rushing.


thank you so much everyone. I appreciate and love all your kinda words.